Inspired by waiter rant
1. Before you get a chance to greet your new table, the host comes to tell you that they didn't want menus, because they know that they just want water and salad.
2. You ask "hi folks, how are you doing today?" and their reply is "ice water with lemon"
3. They reply to every menu item you suggest with "is it free refills?"
4. They wont make eye contact with you, especially after you drop the check
5. They are under 18 or over 65
6. They make sure to mention that it's free when asking for more of anything. "Can I get a free refill of coke?" "we need a refill on salad, it's free right?"
7. When you ask other people at the table if they would like any extras "meatball on your unlimited pasta?" "Anyone care for dessert?" The person paying the bill quickly answers for them "no!"
8. They repeatedly tell you how great you were throughout the meal, and what a wonderful job you did. This is called a verbal tip and it isn't usually accompanied by a real one.
9. They bring their own tea bags and ask for hot water.
10. They tell you they have only $40 dollars to spend and ask you what they can get. There are 4 of them.
11. They call alfredo "cheese sauce," bread sticks "rolls," black tie mousse cake "mouse cake," and try to order clam chowder (or as one server experienced, a steak quesadilla. no joke).
12. They have their coupon and gift card sitting out on the table as soon as you walk up.
13. Half the people at the table aren't ordering anything, but they eat the other people's salad off bread plates. When they ask for a refill you let them know that since they are eating the salad, if you bring them more you have to charge them for it. They don't want more.
14. They go through 3 declined cards before one works.
15. They want to share soup and salad or unlimited pasta (you can't share refillable items, much like you can't share a buffet).
16. You ask if they want dessert. They tell you they have a $30 gift card and ask what their check is at now. It's at $22.50 and dessert would put it at $29.60. They order dessert.
17. They look very young or very low class and they order appetizers, drinks, the steak, the salmon and dessert. It's obvioulsy not their money they are spending and they sure don't plan on sharing it with you.
18. They act surprised at the total of the check and hand you a credit card saying "I hope it goes through"
19. They ask you for change and there isn't even enough money in the book to cover the bill.
20. They are wearing pajama pants, are dressed like a stripper, or are a white guy wearing a Tupac or Notorious BIG t shirt.
*Please feel free to add more*
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