And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

SIGH.

I don't post as much because I am so exhausted by the hatred I have for my management and my guests customers most of the time that I just cant muster the energy to type out my bitching. I know you all get an earful, I love me some complaining. But seriously, it just gets worse and worse. I am trying to get a 9-5, and maybe I should take the increasingly shitty situation at work as encouragement from the universe to hasten that search.

Honestly, being treated like a poorly behaved teenager for 35 hours a week is pretty hard on your morale. I am afraid I will begin to accept the oppression and just stay begrudgingly where I am for even longer. And this, my friends, will make me a very unhappy gal. And in turn will make my man a very unhappy dude. And my friends will get even more sick of listening to me bitch about my job, and the result of this can't be good.

I digress, let me share the source of my frustrations. Some of it is old news, but some is going to most likely piss you off too.

First of all, how about those "service re-commitment" forms we had to sign? A one page outline of all the stupid crap they pester us is SO important all the time including:
Greeting the table within 30 seconds
Bring the wine bottle to the table (oh yes it's back)
Thanking them for dining here
Asking about special occasions
Asking about time restraints
Making recommendations
Offering wine
Pre-bussing when dropping off food.
Pre-bussing when dropping off dessert
Pre-bussing when you have nothing to do
Running food any time you are asked, no matter what else you were doing
Introducing your service partner
Introducing yourself to your service partners tables
Putting a guest-connection card in every black book
Boxing food on a tray next to the table, labeling and dating it
Doing the "three step glance" after dropping the check

This is not all of it, but they basically listed all these things and then at the bottom it says "I am committed to holding myself and my fellow team members to high standards. By signing this I acknowledge that I understand and agree to follow all of the service standards and recognize that not following them will result in disciplinary action." Sign and date.

Although we were all clear that these are "requirements" and not guidelines, now we have to sign a piece of paper stating that fact. So why would they have us do this you may ask? Only to use as fuel to their fire of ass-holery and douchebaggery.  My theory is that they are going to start writing you up for something as small as not writing the date on someone's to go box, and if you get 4 write-ups, you are fired. So one day you don't label the box, another you don't greet your service partner's table, and a week later you forget to put a guest connection card with the check. If they feel like it, they can write you up for each of these things, and then you slip up again, say don't bring a wine bottle on your greet, BANG you're fired. And by making us sign these papers, they eliminate the inevitable plea of "I didn't know" or "I forgot" because you signed something saying you are aware and are "committed" to all these things, so there is no excuse.


But then the managers thought "well shit, there are only one or two of us here at a time, and like 20 of them, so how are we gonna catch them and weed out the non-compliant ones?"

And so comes the other thing pissing me the fuck off. "certified trainer re-training."

I am a certified trainer, I think I have trained like 9 to go specialists, though only one since I've been here. Somehow though (prob cause bitch manager hates me) I wasn't scheduled or even aware of a "certified trainer re-training" class going on this week. It involved a test with questions no one knows the answer to, subs from subway, and a discussion on "trainer shifts."

Someone who went to the meeting filled me in on this little gem. Each certified trainer (I hope to God that because I wasn't there I am not one of them) will be scheduled a "trainer shift" in the next couple weeks where they come to work and tell on people. No shit. They walk around and correct people for doing things that aren't "service standard" such as any of the things on the above list. They also call people out for leaving trays or other things where they don't belong, even for a second, scooping ice with anything but an ice scoop, blah blah blah. During this shift you aren't allowed to assist anyone in any way. No running food, no making drinks, no helping in any way, just observing. Then you report to the managers who was uncooperative, who was a repeat offender, who didn't seem to care? Then they can watch these people, write them up, and fire them.

Who knows which CT's will actually do this, because even we know that this is all bullshit. I only know of one person (you all know who she is) who loves doing things by "standard" so much that she probably masturbates with a "hot food go" pin while gazing at a guest connection card and reciting her wine pitch. I know, for one, that if they make me do this I will probably call in sick. I am not going to be a mole for those assistants to Satan.

From what I understand, both the service commitment forms and the CT re-training are not corporate things, they are unique to Bitch Manager's reign. She said when she became service manager that she would do whatever it takes to get the service scores up, and she wasn't fucking kidding. Although she thinks that these things will make the scores go up, she is so sorely mistaken.

You want to know what makes a good server, Bitch Manager? A happy person who wants to come to work. Someone who isn't so full of hate at their position that they have no problem smiling and going out of their way to be helpful. Someone who knows that if a customer is a complete douche to them that the management will have their back and stand up for them. You can have us label as many to go boxes, bring as many bottles of wine, and run as many trays of food as you want, but good service needs to come from a person who doesn't hate their job, and you are fostering the exact opposite of that. Instead of weeding out the people who suck like you think you are doing, you are going to weed out the people who actually understand what good service is and don't need your laundry list of rules to make it happen.

And I'm sorry, but when someone can come to work high out of their FUCKING MIND every day, so high they can barely keep their eyes open, and they still have a job but you want to get rid of me because I think that the service partners thing is bullshit? You have your head so far up your ass it isn't even funny.

I wanted everyone to know about this, because I don't know how much they will really share about it, whether they will warn everyone that when that CT "catches" you doing things "wrong" that a manager will hear about it, or they will just keep it on the DL and let the shit hit the fan. But I know that whether you hate this place with a fiery passion like I do or just tolerate it, you need this job. And I don't want anyone to get fired for not writing the fucking date on a to go box. But if you do, please, for all of us, give them fucking hell.

And to end things with a laugh, I will tell you another little story (no names on the person involved)

"someone" was flipping Douche Manager the bird while his back was turned and got busted when he suddenly turned around. True to this guys nature, he would NEVER let something like this go, because he not so kindly demands respect. So he asks "did you just flip me off?!" And what was this person to do? He could fire them on the spot. So they said that someone else told them they had a gray whisker growing out of their chin and they didn't want to believe them so they wouldn't feel it or look at it in their presence. When he turned around they were (with their middle finger) feeling their chin for this alleged gray whisker.

And he fucking bought it.

I hope this person isn't upset for me repeating this story, but I laughed about it all day. Amazing.