old people, young bitches and asshole managers

So many things to bitch talk about that I will combine it into one super-post! We'll go from best to worst (in my opinion anyway);

Normally when old people are confused about how to make things work in the 21st century it annoys me. At least once a week you bring an elderly person their check and they open it and say "well I need a pen if I'm going to sign it!" to which you try to politely inform them that you have to run their card before they sign it. I know there are a few places out there where you sign and add the tip before they run the card, but they are few and far in between so where are they getting this idea? A couple times I have seen people write in a a tip and total on the bottom of their check (NOT their credit slip) and waltz out without paying. Hm, if you never even gave me your card, how do you think I got your payment? They also often will sit there after signing the credit slip and keep looking at you until you come over, then say "so don't you need to run my card again to add the tip?" And I have to explain the fancy new process of adjusting the transaction.

Anyway, normally this makes me nuts, but on Friday night I had a four top that was a couple in their 40's and one of the couples parents, who were probably in their late 70's. The old lady was really sweet the whole time and when I was boxing them up the man got his card out indicating that he wanted to pay for the meal. Grandma took the card and said "so how does this work? Do you bring the machine to the table?" I thought maybe she was paranoid about identity theft, as a lot of old people are, and didn't want the card leaving her sight where I would no doubt be writing down her credit card info to use on ebay later. The room that I was in happened to have a computer just outside of it so I offered that she could come stand right by me as I ran it. She came with me, I ran her card and gave it back to her, gave her her credit slips, and thought she would return to the table to sign them. No no, she stood there in the sidestation filling out the slip, getting confused with her math and having me use the calculator to help her figure it out. She left me a very nice tip and told me she just wasn't sure if I brought a debit machine to her cause she wanted it run as credit and she just gets confused. So in fact she is not paranoid but just clueless, aw. At this time all my coworkers are wondering whats up with the little old lady chillin' in the sidestation and blocking the computer simultaneously. She finishes, I take her slip and send her back to her table. I am then in the kitchen, getting a salad setup when someone tells me two old people are waiting to talk to me. Crap, did Grandpa think the tip was to generous? I go out there and Grandma says "oh you know I realized that we used his card but I signed it with my name!" I told her that's okay, he was right there and gave her the card so I know she was authorized to use it "oh, good, we just wanted to make sure you would still get the money!" As if someone at the bank is comparing signatures and denying payment if they don't match. Anyway, they were just so freaking cute I wasn't even pissed at their inability to use a debit card.

That same day, but lunch shift, another server had a less-than-awesome experience with some teenage girls. It was a 5 top but initially only three girls were there. they ordered soup and salad, and weren't any too polite about it. She was already annoyed with their lack of manners when the other two girls showed up.

"Hi ladies, did you want to order some food today?"

Super rudely "No, but they need more soup and salad right now!"

"Okay, but if you are eating soup and salad you have to be charged for it"

"What? That's stupid, I'm not ordering anything"

She immediately alerts the manager to what they are attempting to pull, and asks him to come with her while she drops the food. He comes up and places a basket of bread on the table, which one of the 'i'm not ordering' girls immediately delves into. He reiterates what the server said, that this is a per guest charge, it isn't free, and if they eat it they have to pay for it.

"That is so dumb, I thought it was free when you come in!"

"well it's not."

"Whatever!!"

She continues with her other tables, who tell her that while she was in the kitchen the girls were loudly bragging and laughing about how stupid the server and manager are and how they can do whatever they want.  She sees that one of the 'not ordering' girls is in fact chowing down on a plate of salad. She lets the manager know. It is this particular managers last day at this IR and he is feeling a little fiery, and also is not the type to be walked all over by stupid teeny bopper bitches. He walks up to the table, takes the salad plate from in front of the girl and says "I don't think so." They of course object loudly, and he says again "If you don't want to pay for it, you can't eat it." He then tells their server not to bring them anymore of anything, to just give them their checks. They all give her exact, except for one girl, the only one who wasn't rude, who leaves her $1.20. A little while later, the manager comes to the server and says, "well, I can tell you it's not their fault" she is confused. How is it not their fault they were incredibly rude? "Well, I just got a call from one of their mothers, and I can tell you, they got it from her." The call went something like this;

"This is manager, how can I help you"

"My daughter was just in your restaurant, and your server AND the manager, who I guess is you, were both extremely rude to her and her friends!"

"Was it five teenagers ma'am?"

"Yes, and you were so rude to them! You can't treat people like that!"

"Ma'am, I don't know what your daughter told you, but only three of the girls were ordering and the other two were eating their salad and soup and refusing to pay for it. Soup and salad is not free in our restaurant and we attempted to explain that to them and they pretty much just ignored us and ate it anyway, so I had to either remove the food or charge them"

"They are teenagers! Don't you have any idea how to deal with teenagers! I hope you NEVER have children! You would be a HORRIBLE father!"

Click

So, apparently teenage girls are supposed to be fucking cunts, it's their nature and their right, and we should respect and encourage it.

Finally, one of our managers, you know the one who thinks she's young and cool and everyone's bestie, is becoming the biggest bitch on planet Earth. Apparently she is trying to be seen as someone that should be promoted to GM, and her way of displaying this is by nitpicking and power-tripping like none other. Take last night. In each of our sidestations there is an area we call "bar side" that is where we grab our bar drinks, and is slightly visible to people in the cafe. It has a bunch of shelving that we normally put our drinks or purses on. We have no lockers or any secure place to keep purses or anything like that. They just tell us not to bring it, but I've even had my keys stolen from work, so the only seemingly safe thing is to put your purse in barside where we can see it most of the time. Anyway, bitch manager has gone on this conquest where she has declared these shelves a "guest area" because they could potentially see it, and that we cannot put personal items or beverages there because of course this would shock and appall our patrons. She puts up stupid signs so people wont put drinks there and periodically comes over and throws them all out. Oh, you brought a $4 latte from Starbucks and barely touched it? In the trash. I was doing togo last night and I usually have a coffee or water near my computer, which is in the alley, not a guest area. Bitch comes up and says "Waitress, is this your coffee? You can't have that there"

"okay, so where am I supposed to put it, in the breakroom?"

"No, actually you shouldn't be leaving things over there either"

"So...I just can't have a drink at all..."

"Well, technically you are just supposed to have a drink from a cone cup whenever you get thirsty"

"I'm pretty sure I would be really dehydrated if I only had cone cups to drink from, I drink a lot of water"

"Oh, I think you'll be okay"

A cone cup is a paper cone that holds maybe three ounces of liquid and is cleverly designed so you can't set it down. So If I am trying to get my 64 ounces of water, I could be going through 10 or more cone cups to get close to half of that. And we say we are trying to be more environmentally friendly. Seriously, have you ever heard of a workplace that wont even allow you a water bottle? If you put it in the bar side where you can watch and easily access it, you get in trouble and it gets thrown out. If you put it in the break room, it gets thrown out. This is super lame. One server who was feeling mischievous last night kept taking a glass, filling it half full of water and putting it in bar side, and each time the manager would throw it out, she would make another one. They did this at least three times before the manager gave up.

Also, we recently got hit by the health department for about half of our employees not having up to date food handlers permits. When I transferred to this IR, I volunteered both my food handlers card and my liquor servers permit, both up to date. They made copies, put them in my file. The other day bitch manager comes up and (all bitchy) says "waitress, you need to get your food handlers card"

"I have it, and I already gave you guys a copy"

"Well...I need it again!"

I give it to her, she takes it to make a copy, has a host give it back to me.

Yesterday when I get to work, I see that there is a big list of people who need to get their permits in the breakroom, and my name is on it, and spelled incorrectly too. I cross it out, because I have already given them mine twice. A bit later, bitch is in there lecturing people about it and sees my name crossed off.

"waitress, did you cross your name off this?"

"yeah..."

"well, you have to get your card"

"I have it, I already gave it to you twice"

"well, you're on my list"

"do you want me to give it to you again?"

"No, I'm sure I have it, but still, It's MY list"

As in, "you can't alter it cause its mine and i'm the boss and if I want to make you show me your food handlers card every fucking day I will!" This manager has become such a two-faced pain in the ass everyone has started to hate her. Another girl last night was really busy and trying to quickly get into the kitchen. Bitch manager saw her through the window in the door to the alley and pushed it hard right into her, and no, she wasn't carrying anything. She is constantly making little comments just to let us know she can tell us what to do. Most people see her becoming like the GM, who is on a constant power trip. I really wish I could get a different job, cause this one is wearing me down.

Valentines day is right around the corner. I will be closing to go. Should be interesting.

And I will re-enable anonymous posts per request of a certain bartender. Just make up some pen name that will help me to guess who you are =)